Internal Rules that Affect Your Success

Hot Air Ballon

This blog posting explores the ways Undine, a client, shifted away from OLD RULES into NEW RULES when she wanted to create new outcomes in her life. She wants to move from the career she has now to a new career that helps women finance good projects for the greater good.

Undine noticed that she was getting these results:

  • Insomnia and fatigue
  • Feeling frustrated, judgmental of herself, depleted of energy
  • Working really hard, but not getting the outcomes she knew she could create
  • Noticing what didn’t work and trying to fix it
  • Putting others’ needs before hers
  • Trying to fix mistakes from the past
  • Angry at her current state of affairs

This was in a downward spiral, which felt out-of-control. She was fed up and ready to do things differently.

What she learned about herself through coaching was that she was inadvertently using some rules that she picked up through her family, ethnicity, generation, socialization at those levels:

  • I should be a good girl
  • A good girl:
    • listens to elders or experts, at all cost
    • ignores her intuition
    • puts others before herself
    • fixes all problems, even when they’re not her responsibility
    • lives in the past or future
    • judges herself and others
    • worries about what other people think

She did not consciously think these things, but noticed that her behavior pre-supposed these RULES. To move toward the outcomes she wanted, she knew she needed new rules. They now include:

  • I’m a good girl
  • A good girl:
    • listens to her intuition
    • takes care of herself  — health, well-being
    • focuses on her vision
    • stays judgement-free of herself and others
    • lives in gratitude
    • lives in the present moment
    • is always helpful to others when it’s not a cost to herself
    • focuses on what she thinks of herself

With these NEW RULES, Undine uses her energy in the way she wants, which makes her feel positive, focused and in-control. She is then able to channel her learning and positive energy into new projects that transform her current situation inter her vision. She is changing her life through these NEW RULES, which are simple and effective to use.

What are your OLD and NEW RULES? And what do your RULES create in her life?